Tag Archives: doctor

Two Huge Problems

From the moment that Boo was born, something wasn’t right. But it took me two months to work that out.

Depression is canny; it’s clever and wise and downright evil. It knows how to get you right where it wants you before you can even notice that anything’s wrong. This is huge problem number one: Depression is sneaky. It will sneak up on you. It will be weeks, months maybe, before you suddenly realise that even though you thought you were playing on the beach with everyone else, you are in fact stranded on a tiny island miles out at sea. Continue reading

I’m Angry

I don’t even know how I feel any more, but I think, for now, I am going to have to go with angry.

Yesterday I felt as low as I did about two weeks ago. That’s a huge step back from fourteen days progress; progress that had found me feeling almost normal and well, just feeling.

One of my hardest PND battles is simply not feeling. There is no happy or sad, black or white. Everything just exists in one shade of grey, day in, day out. I don’t live or survive, I just am. But I had worked through so much, I had managed to drag myself out of the darkness and for the first time in a long time I was finding pleasure and happiness in fleeting moments every day. Continue reading