Tag Archives: daughter

Squeeeeeee! Exciting!

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Boo is going through an amazing little stage of development. She’s playing properly now and its amazing to see what an imagination she has as she babbles away into a phone as if she’s on an important call (or maybe it’s not pretending, maybe I’m just on my phone too much!) She is learning new things rapidly and is so keen to show off her new skills to her daddy and me.

Yesterday she spent most of her time getting to one of us before spending a minute or two to find her centre of gravity so that she could let go, stand unaided, and treat us to a fabulous performance of clapping, waving, grinning like crazy and of course, shouting.

The one thing that I have been trying to teach her for AGES is cuddles. For weeks I have been ‘giving teddy cuddles, AAAHHHHH, nice cuddles’ but I have been greeted with nothing more than raised eyebrows from Boo, or if I’m lucky, a stuck out tongue. Clearly not one for cuddling teddy then, fair enough, I gave up trying. Boo is constantly a million miles an hour so I was quite frankly stupid to think that she would take a second out of her busy schedule to do something as unproductive as give a teddy a cuddle. Silly mummy.

Yesterday we embarked on a bit of rushed Christmas shopping which resulted in stress (what do I buy everyone?!) followed by an absolutely freezing walk home in the sleet. It was bath time when we got home and that’s when something amazing happened.

Holding Boo (she was still warm from her pram suit and I was mostly using her as a hot water bottle) I said ‘Mummy’s wound up. Mummy needs a cuddle’.

She put both her arms around me, laid her head on my chest and cuddled me. Right on cue and for the first time ever.

I was ‘AAAAHHHHHH’-ing like a mad thing and cuddling her back while trying to get the husbands attention ‘Look! Look! She’s cuddling! Squeeeeeee!’

Best. Moment. Ever.

The Hardest Lesson Was All For Nothing

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Last night as I gave Boo her bedtime bottle I found myself staring into her eyes. She has such gorgeous big, dark eyes and more and more I find myself getting lost in them. As I looked at her, lost in the moment with a lazy smile playing at my lips, I realised that she wasn’t drinking anymore. She was smiling back at me. For about five minutes we sat in the chair in the corner of her room, nestled cosily together, both of us sleepy and soporific in the moment.

Continue reading →

Don’t Break The Spell

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On Wednesday afternoon I walked into the house from a cold, blustery autumn walk. But it wasn’t just the warmth and the smell of home that hit me. It was the excited high pitched squeal from Boo, followed by her eager panting as she crawled over to me. She’s been doing this for a little while, along with following like a little puppy if me or the husband leave the room but this was on a new scale. Continue reading →

The Gallery: Faces

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It’s been a while since I took part in The Gallery but this week I couldn’t resist.

This weeks theme is Faces. Take a look at the other entries here.

Of course, there is only one face I could choose. Ok, the husband is pretty good to look at but Boos has to be my favourite. Watching her face change since she was born has been amazing. She has come a long way from the puffy newborn features she had nine months ago and her face is showing real glimpses of the little girl she’s growing into. Continue reading →

All By Myself

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On Monday the husband is going back to work after being at home for so long I don’t even like to count the days anymore. I have really mixed feelings about being on my own, day in day out, with Boo. Suddenly she is all my responsibility. I will have to get up with her through the nights and in the mornings, no option to kick the husband sharply until he goes to her because I have only had an hours sleep. No help during the day, no adult conversation, no one to ask an opinion from or to give me advice. Continue reading →

I Miss My Baby

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It is over half a year since I was pregnant. Earlier today I found myself watching Boo kicking and playing on the floor while I sat with one hand resting on my belly. I found myself missing my baby. Missing the baby I had bonded with so strongly when I could feel the wriggles and kicks in my belly.

I was a very stereotypical pregnant woman, forever cradling and stroking my bump. Smiling to myself at every kick and hiccup that I felt. I felt so close to the baby growing inside of me. I loved that she was mine, that all she needed to grow and thrive was me. Continue reading →

I am so angry…

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Depression is killing me. As hard as I try to fight it and to ‘be ok’ when I’m really anything but sometimes it will get the better of me.

At the moment it is using lethargy. Total exhaustion. I am so tired. Tired from battling it, tired from every day and every action, however small, being an effort.

In a cruel twist, I am also tired from sleeping terribly at night. My sleep goes one of two way – either I lay awake for hours on end, unable to switch off and to settle, or I have a restless dream filled sleep that leaves me more tired in the morning than I was when I went to bed. Continue reading →

I love her more than I love you

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If there is one thing that being a parent has taught me, it’s that there are so many different kinds of love and the capacity for all of them is limitless.

At this point I could dredge through my past loves. But we have all been there. We all have the ones that we thought we loved at the time, only to realise with hindsight that frankly, we didn’t love them at all. Most of us have ‘the ones that got away’. But I want to talk about real love.

I have always loved my family, but since having Boo and a family of my own I love my parents in a different way. In a more rounded way I think. Now I’m a parent and I’m starting to understand what that means I feel closer to my own mum and dad because of that. Continue reading →