The carriage is full of sweaty, flustered passengers invading each others personal space. Bags and legs and arms and a dog crowd the aisle. 95% of people are on their phones, because that’s how we roll. Silence descends as the delayed 13:02 to Southend Victoria slowly pulls away from the platform.

TEENAGE GIRL: ‘So I fly out to Sidney at the end of January and then I’m there till like March 1st when I go to Bangkok to meet up with Holly…then we both fly back to Melbourne two months later, but I think I’ll want to leave there early because it’s shit and I want some sun y’know?’

TEENAGE BOY [earnestly]: ‘Melbourne doesn’t look shit. It’s nice. You won’t want to leave early.’

TG [high pitched whine]: ‘Shit, she said she’d booked my tickets via Singapore but they’re to Hong Kong. I don’t want to spend any time in Hong Kong. I want to go to Singapore. Because then I can get a cheap flight to Thailand and sit on a nice beach…I want a tan before I come back to England.’

TB: ‘There are…’

TG: ‘I definitely don’t want to do China or India, everyone does it and its boring.’

TB [quietly (I think he knows there's no point)]: ‘Oh, I…’

TG: ‘I’m actually really annoyed now about that. I don’t want to go there. I’m going to have to call her and change my flights, it’s not on. I mean are there even beaches in China? Is it hot in July? I may as well just be in England’

TB [bravely]: ‘You’re so spoiled.’

TG: ‘I know…Anyway….’

*Slowly rises from itchy train seat, walks over to girl, punches her in face, smugly swaggers back to seat while the carriage applauds*

IN MY MIND.